SCENE TWO
JOE'S GARAGE
A boring old garage in a residential area with a teenage
band rehearsing in it. JOE (the main character in the CENTRAL
SCRUTINIZER'S Special Presentation) sings to us of the trials
and tribulations of garage- band husbandry.
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
We take you now to a garage in Canoga Park.
JOE:
It wasn't very large
There was just enough room to cram the drums
In the corner over by the Dodge
It was a fifty-four
With a mashed up door
And à cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said
"Fender Champ"
And a second-hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar
At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music
and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group called Toad-O)
joins in the song...
LARRY:
We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin'
His dad was mad
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, 'n' easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
All we did was bend the string like...
Hey!
Down in Joe's Garage
We didn't have no dope or LSD
But a coupla quartsa beer
Would fix it so the intonation
Would not offend yer ear
And the same old chords goin' over 'n' over
Became a symphony
We would play it again 'n' again 'n' again
'Cause it sounded good to me
ONE MORE TIME!
We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin', "TURN IT DOWN!"
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon 'n' sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, and easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
Even if you played it on a saxophone
We thought we was pretty good
We talked about keepin' the band together
'N' we figured that we should
'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye
From the girls in the neighborhood
They'd all come over 'n' dance around like...
Twenty teen-age girls dash in and go STOMP-CLAP, STOMP-CLAP-CLAP...
So we picked out a stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
'N' we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits
'N' Beatle Boots
'N' a sign on the back of the car
'N' we was ready to work in a GO-GO Bar
ONE TWO THREE FOUR
LET'S SEE IF YOU GOT SOME MORE!
People seemed to like our song
They got up 'n' danced 'n made a lotta noise
An' it wasn't 'fore very long
A guy from a company we can't name
Said we oughta take his pen
'N' sign on the line for a real good time
But he didn't tell us when
These "good times" would be somethin'
That was really happenin'
So the band broke up
An' it looks like
We will never play again...
JOE:
Guess you only get one chance in life
To play a song that goes like...
And, as the band plays their little song, MRS. BORG (who keeps her son, SY, in the closet with the vacuum cleaner)
screams out the window...
MRS. BORG:
Turn it down! Turn it DOWN! I have children sleeping here...
Don't you boys know any nice songs?
JOE:
(Speculating on the future)
Well the years was rollin' by
Heavy Metal 'n Glitter Rock
Had caught the public eye
Snotty boys with lipstick on
Was really flyin' high
'N' then they got that Disco thing
'N' New Wave came along
'N' all of a sudden I thought the time
Had come for that old song
We used to play in "Joe's Garage"
And if I am not wrong
You will soon be dancin' to...
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. If you gotta load or
unload, go to the WHITE ZONE. You'll love it...
JOE:
Well the years was rollin' by (etc.)...
MRS. BORG:
I'm calling THE POLICE!
There! I did it! They'll be here...shortly!
OFFICER BUTZIS:
This is the police...
MRS. BORG:
I'm not joking around anymore
OFFICER BUTZIS:
We have the garage surrounded
If you give yourself up
We will not harm you
Or hurt you neither
MRS. BORG:
You'll see them
OFFICER BUTZIS:
This is the police
MRS. BORG:
There they are, they're coming!
OFFICER BUTZIS:
Give yourself up
We will not harm you
MRS. BORG:
Listen to that mess, would you?
OFFICER BUTZIS:
This is the police
Give yourself up
We have the garage surrounded
MRS. BORG:
Everday this goes on around here!
OFFICER BUTZIS:
We will not harm you, or maim you
(swat team 4, move in!)
MRS. BORG:
He used to cut my grass...
He was a very nice boy...
CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
That was Joe's first confrontation with The Law.
Naturally, we were easy on him.
One of our friendly counselors gave him
A do-nut... and told him to
Stick closer to church-oriented social activities.
Frank Vincent Zappa ( ZAP-ə; December 21, 1940 – December 4, 1993) was an American musician, composer, and bandleader. In a career spanning more than 30 years, Zappa composed rock, pop, jazz, jazz fusion, orchestral and musique concrète works; he also produced almost all of the 60-plus albums that he released with his band the Mothers of Invention and as a solo artist. His work is characterized by nonconformity, improvisation sound experimentation, musical virtuosity and satire of American culture. Zappa also directed feature-length films and music videos, and designed album covers. He is considered one of the most innovative and stylistically diverse musicians of his generation.
As a mostly self-taught composer and performer, Zappa had diverse musical influences that led him to create music that was sometimes difficult to categorize. While in his teens, he acquired a taste for 20th-century classical modernism, African-American rhythm and blues, and doo-wop music. He began writing classical music in high school, while simultaneously playing drums in rhythm and blues bands, later switching to electric guitar. His debut studio album with the Mothers of Invention, Freak Out! (1966), combined satirical songs in seemingly conventional rock and roll format with collective improvisations and studio-generated sound collages. He continued this eclectic and experimental approach whether the fundamental format was rock, jazz, or classical.
Zappa's output is unified by a conceptual continuity he termed "Project/Object", with numerous musical phrases, ideas, and characters reappearing across his albums. His lyrics reflected his iconoclastic views of established social and political processes, structures and movements, often humorously so, and he has been described as the "godfather" of comedy rock. He was a strident critic of mainstream education and organized religion, and a forthright and passionate advocate for freedom of speech, self-education, political participation and the abolition of censorship. Unlike many other rock musicians of his generation, he disapproved of recreational drug use, but supported decriminalization and regulation.
Zappa was a highly productive and prolific artist with a controversial critical standing; supporters of his music admired its compositional complexity, while detractors found it lacking emotional depth. He had greater commercial success outside the US, particularly in Europe. Though he worked as an independent artist, Zappa mostly relied on distribution agreements he had negotiated with the major record labels. He remains a major influence on musicians and composers. His many honors include his posthumous 1995 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the 1997 Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award.
