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song: If I Had a Million Dollars
artist: Barenaked Ladies
album: Gordon
released: 1992-07-28length: 4:22
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If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I Had $1000000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard.
If I Had $1000000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I Had $1000000
Maybe we could put put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
([Talking:] We could just go up there and hang out.
Like open the fridge and stuff, and there'd be foods laid out for us
With little pre-wrapped sausages and things. Mmmmm.
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.
Well can you blame them. Yeah)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I Had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I Had $1000000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
(But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more.
And buy really expensive ketchup with it.
That's right, all the fanciest Dijon Ketchup. Mmmmmm.)

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
I'd be rich.
Barenaked Ladies

Barenaked Ladies (BNL) is a Canadian rock band formed in 1988 in the Toronto suburb of Scarborough, Ontario. The band developed a following in Canada, with their self-titled 1991 cassette becoming the first independent release to be certified gold in Canada. They reached mainstream success in Canada when their debut with Reprise Records, Gordon, featuring the singles "If I Had $1000000" and "Brian Wilson", was released in 1992. The band's popularity subsequently spread into the US, beginning with versions of "Brian Wilson" and "The Old Apartment" off their 1996 live album Rock Spectacle, followed by their fourth studio album Stunt, their breakout success in 1998. The album featured their highest-charting hit, "One Week", as well as "It's All Been Done" and "Call and Answer". Their fifth album, Maroon, featuring the lead single "Pinch Me", also charted highly. In the 2010s the band became well-known for creating and performing the theme song for the sitcom The Big Bang Theory.

Initially a duo of Ed Robertson and Steven Page, the band quickly grew to a quintet, adding brothers Jim and Andy Creeggan and Tyler Stewart by 1990. Andy Creeggan left the band in 1995 and was replaced by Kevin Hearn. Page left in 2009, reducing the group to a quartet.

The band's style has evolved throughout their career, and their music, which began as exclusively acoustic, quickly grew to encompass a mixture of pop, rock, hip hop and rap. The band's live performances feature comedic banter and freestyle rapping between songs. They have won multiple Juno Awards and have been nominated for two Grammy Awards. The group has sold over 15 million albums and singles and were inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame in March 2018.

Artist Website
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Comments ( 254 )
Posted 10 years ago by aaronm:
Not gonna lie — I think the lot of you who don't like this are a bunch of killjoys. {#Wink}
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Posted 10 years ago by Grammarcop:
But not a real green dress — that's cruel.
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Posted 5 years ago by meatmike:
Barenaked Ladies write the most unpretentious lyrics in the world.
They're like, "this is what I want to say and I'm gonna say it along to this cool music."
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Posted 5 years ago by ProfessionalGeek:
Great song for learning a little bit of Canadian vocabulary:
Chesterfield: a sofa
Kraft Dinner: macaroni & cheese

And Canadian pronunciation:
Llama - rhymes with Alabama
Picasso - rhymes with lasso
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Posted 16 years ago by keller1:
Teutates wrote:
Yeesh – to all critics - lighten up. This song is based on Canadian nostalgia. Once upon a time, when the lottery was introduced in Canada, the grand prize was one million dollars. Everyone wishfully wondered what they would do with a million dollars; it was a popular topic, easy icebreaker, just like talking about the weather. "What would you do with a million dollars" I heard this in school, home, holidays, just about anywhere. Just a song to bring back memories. That's all.
If you want to hear the all time best take on the Lotto Canada million dollar prize, track down MacLean & Maclean's "The Lottery": "You know what I'd do if I won a million dollars? I'd march right into my boss's office and grab him by that $30 f***in tie he wears every day to work ... and I'd pull him up real close and say 'You can take a long hard suck on my arse ... and that goes for yer mouthy f***in wife too.'" Kind of a different vibe from the BNL thing.
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Posted 4 years ago by DW4554:
I like it. Silly is good sometimes.

Thanks Bill & Co.
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Posted 4 years ago by alanthecowboy:
mdnlsn wrote:
As a Canadian, I consider this song a national embarrassment. Can’t believe I’m hearing it on RP.
 

As another Canadian, I'm fine with hearing it here.  I've heard it 1000's of times, it seems, and Gordon is one of my most played BNL albums, so maybe I'm a bit tired of it, but there's nothing embarrassing about it.
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Posted 16 years ago by lissen:
Great song for the dreamers and kids among us.  Count me in!
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Posted 3 years ago by melzabutch:
I worked concert security in NY 20 plus years ago at the beach and BNL came through for two nights in a row, and I can say each night was totally different set, different banter different stories, they were tight in there playing and they were funny as well.  Say what you want, they were fun and they were good.  
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Posted 3 years ago by dmcanany:
I can’t believe how low this song is rated. Come on, people! Sure, it’s not Hendrix, but it’s cheerful and funny and sweet. And it’s Canadian!
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Posted 6 years ago by Clarentine:
Awesome funny song for a rainy morning.  {#Roflol}
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Posted 16 years ago by KSTrillian:
But not a real green dress, that's cruel! {#Mrgreen} Always loved this song since college...silly, yes, but really sweet.

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Posted 3 years ago by jmkate:
This entire album is glorious. 
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Posted 4 years ago by ThePoose:
Since our Canadian dollars are worth significantly less than U.S. dollars, the amount the BNL are singing about is way less than a million dollars. So you Americans should simply imagine them singing "If I had  $794,079.30..." 
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Posted 4 years ago by HectorPascal:
The vinyl version is the best version of this because you can wire-brush it.
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Posted 4 years ago by Hippostar:
Seems like a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to. Unlikely you could buy a Picasso for 1 million.
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Posted 5 years ago by nmcvaugh:
Don't forget - that's 1992 dollars. In 2020 one million dollars will only buy you 1/500 of a failed presidential candidate.
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Posted 4 years ago by daniel_rusk:
F’ing annoying. Please stop....
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Posted 5 years ago by SquiddlyDiddly:
I glanced up and read this as 'If I Had a Million Barenaked Ladies'
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Posted 5 years ago by gbarker:
Really. The worst song ever. My god!
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